Are you single and looking for love? Do you find it difficult to find the right person? When you are having trouble finding a loving friendship, it’s easy to become discouraged or to buy a destructive myth about dating and friendship. Even if you have been burnt repeatedly or have a poorly documented date, these tips can help you stay tuned and take you on the path to finding friendship.
What’s preventing you from finding love?
As a person’s life offers many rewards, such as free to pursue your own hobbies and interests, learn how to enjoy your company, and enjoy the quiet moments of loneliness. However, if you are ready to share your life with someone and want to build a lasting, valuable friendship, then a single life can be frustrating.
For many of us, our emotional baggage can make finding the right romantic partner a tough journey. Maybe you grew up in a family without a strong, healthy friendship, and you doubt whether such a thing exists. Perhaps your dating history contains only a brief short-lived, but you don’t know how to build a friendship. Because of your unresolved issues in the past, you may be attracted to the wrong type of person or make the same bad choice over and over again. Or maybe you don’t put yourself in the best environment to cater to the right person, or when you do, you don’t have enough confidence. Regardless of the situation, you can overcome obstacles and find a healthy friendship.
1: Keep things in perspective
Don’t make your search for friendship in the center of your life. Focus on your favorite activities, your career, your health and your friendship with family and friends. When you focus on keeping yourself happy, it will keep your life balanced, and when you meet a special person, it will make you a more interesting person.
Remember that first impression aren’t always reliable, especially when it comes to online dating. It takes time to really understand a person, and you must experience being with someone in a variety of situations. For example, how does this person perform under pressure when things don’t go well or feel tired, frustrated or hungry?
Be honest about your own flaws and shortcomings. Everyone has flaws, and for a lasting friendship, you want someone to love you, not the person you want to be, or the person they think you should be. In addition, you think that a defect may actually be something strange and attractive to another person. By getting rid of all excuses, you will encourage each other to do the same thing, which can lead to an honest, more fulfilling friendship.
2: Build a genuine connection
Dating games can be nervous. Naturally, worry about what you will encounter and whether your date will like you. But no matter how shy or socially you feel, you can overcome your own nerves and self-awareness and build good connections.
Focus outward, not inward. To counter the first nervous nerves, focus on what you said and did on your date and what happened around you, not your inner thoughts. Maintaining a full presence at the moment will help eliminate anxiety and insecurity.
Be curious. When you are really curious about other people’s thoughts, feelings, experiences, stories, and opinions, it will show up – and they will like you. If you take the time to try to promote yourself to an appointment, you will encounter more attractive and interesting things. If you have no real interest in your date, then it makes no sense to pursue this friendship further.
Be genuine. Showing interest in others cannot be forged. If you just pretend to listen or care, your date will be improved. No one likes to be manipulated or appeased. Your efforts are likely to be counterproductive, not to help you connect and make a good impression. If you have no real interest in your date, then it makes no sense to pursue this friendship further.
Pay attention. Try to really listen to each other’s opinions. By paying close attention to their speech, their behavior and how they interact, you will quickly understand them. Small things have a long way to go, such as remembering someone’s preferences, the stories they tell you, and what is happening in their lives.
Put your smartphone away. When you do multitasking, you can’t really focus on or build a real connection. Nonverbal communication – subtle gestures, emoticons, and other visual cues – tell us a lot about other people, but unless you are transferred, it’s easy to miss.
3: Put a priority on having fun
Matching services such as online dating, singles and fast dating are great for some people, but for others, they feel more like a high-pressure job interview. No matter what dating experts might tell you, there is a big difference between finding the right career and finding lasting love.
Don’t search for dating sites or hang out in the pick-up bar. Instead, think of your time as a person, which is a great opportunity to expand your social circle and participate in new events. Make your focus interesting. By pursuing your favorite activities and placing yourself in a new environment, you will meet new people with similar interests and values. Even if you don’t find a special person, you can still enjoy yourself and maybe build a new friendship.
4: Handle rejection gracefully
At some point, everyone looking for love must deal with rejection – whether it is rejected or rejected. This is an inevitable part of dating and will never be fatal. Dealing with refusal may be far less daunting by maintaining a positive attitude and being honest with yourself and others. The key is accepting rejection is an inevitable part of dating, but don’t spend too much time worrying about it. This is by no means fatal.
Tips for handling rejection when dating and looking for love
Don’t take it personally. If you are rejected after one or a few dates, then another person may just reject you for superficial reasons beyond your control – some people just like blondes, brunettes, talkers, or because they can’t overcome them Your own problem. Thanks for the early rejection – it will save you more pain on the road.
Don’t dwell on it, but learn from the experience. Don’t beat yourself because of any mistakes you think. However, if it happens again, please take some time to think about your friendship with others and any problems you need to solve. Then let go. Treating refusals in a healthy way can increase your strength and resilience.
Acknowledge your feelings. In the face of rejection, I feel a little hurt, resentment, disappointment and even sadness are normal. It is important to recognize your feelings and not try to suppress them. Practice mindfulness can help you stay in touch with your feelings and move forward quickly from negative experiences.
5: Watch for friendship red flags
Red flag behavior can indicate that friendship does not lead to healthy, lasting love. Trust your instincts and pay close attention to how the other person makes you feel. If you tend to feel unsafe, shy or underestimated, then it may be time to reconsider the friendship.
Common friendship red flags:
Friendship is alcohol dependent. When one or both of you are affected by alcohol or other substances, you can only communicate funny, talk, and make love.
There’s trouble making a commitment. For some people, commitment is much more difficult than others. Because of previous experiences or unstable family life, they are more difficult to trust others or understand the benefits of long-term friendship.
Nonverbal communication is off. Rather than wanting to contact you, another person’s attention is focused on other things, such as cell phones or television.
Jealousy about outside interests. A partner does not like other times outside of friendship with friends and family.
6: Deal with trust issues
Mutual trust is the cornerstone of any intimate personal friendship. Trust does not happen overnight; as it becomes more connected with another person, it develops over time. However, if you are a person with a question of trust – someone who has been betrayed, traumatized or abused in the past, or someone with an insecure attachment friendship – then you may find it impossible to believe in others and find lasting love.
If you have a question of trust, your romantic friendship will be dominated by fear – fear of being betrayed by others, fear of being degraded, or fear of being vulnerable. But it is possible to learn to believe in others. By working with the right therapist or in a supportive group therapy environment, you can identify sources of distrust and explore ways to build a richer, more fulfilling friendship.
7: Nurture your budding friendship
Finding the right person is just the beginning of the journey, not the destination. In order to change from an accidental date to a loyal real friendship, you need to develop new connections.
To nurture your friendship:
Invest in it. Without frequent attention, no friendship will go smoothly. The more you invest in each other, the more you will be. Find activities that you can enjoy together and promise to spend time with them, even if you are busy or nervous.
Communicate openly. Your partner is not a soul reader, so tell them how you feel. When you feel comfortable expressing your needs, fears, and desires, the connection between you will become stronger and stronger.
Resolve conflict by fighting fair. No matter how you deal with the differences in your friendship, it is important that you don’t be afraid of conflict. You need to feel safe to express problems that bother you and to resolve conflicts without humiliating, degrading or insisting on the right situation.
Be open to change. All friendships change over time. What you want to get from a friendship at first is probably quite different from what you and your partner want in a few months or years. Accepting changes in your healthy friendship will not only make you happier, but will also make you smarter: more kind, more empathetic, and more generous.